Father Figure
by EllieBear75
Summary: Sequel to: Need You Tonight Logan and Veronica discuss how she found out that she couldn't have children. Mac confronts Dick with some troubling information.
"You know, I could have just emailed you this info." Smiled Mac from behind me of her enormous computer screens.

Veronica looked up from the smiling baby on her lap. Celia gurgled happily as her Aunty Vee held her little hands above her little head and back down. "But then who would have played with the baby while you worked?" Questioned Veronica is a sing-song voice.

Mac chuckled. "Ummm...the electric swing that you and Logan bought me. That thing is a working mom's best friend."

"Hey!" Cried Veronica indignantly. "I thought I was your best friend?"

Mac got up from the large desk and crossed into her living room. "That was before I had a device that could get my baby to fall back to sleep at 2 am, after my arms give out from walking around the condo with her for an hour." She flopped down in the soft armchair across from Veronica and Celia and dropped a stack of computer papers on the coffee table between them.

Veronica laughed. "Point taken. At 2 am, I am either sound asleep or on a stake-out. Not much help with a crying baby." She turned her attention down to the two-month-old on her lap. She had Celia laying on the length of her thighs with the baby's head on her knees. She gave her legs a like jiggle and the baby grinned at her again.

Mac reached for the take-out coffee that Veronica brought for her, and settled back into the chair. "This working-from-home thing seems to be going really well. I don't even miss my kitchen table." She looked over at the desk with the mass of computers stacked along it. It was exactly where her old kitchen table once stood. "I mean, really, I usually eat at the counter anyway."

Veronica laughed. "Dad has been known to come up with a good idea or two. And Julie is great. You were totally over-qualified to be a receptionist. Now you can focus on all the computer investigating and Julie can comfort the poor wives of Neptune, when they get the news that their husbands are cheating on them."

Mac snorted. "The girl brings homemade cookies to work every morning! She is a natural at the whole 'tea and sympathy' thing."

"You should see her call in an invoice from a past-due client. The girl can be cut throat! I was almost afraid of her!" Veronica informed her friend. "It's working out well. Besides, more and more of our business is done with investigating online. This frees up your time to concentrate on more important things than answering phones and calling in invoices." She repositioned Celia up to her shoulder and gave the baby a snuggle. Celia gurgled and smushed her face into Veronica's soft t-shirt. The little girl then gave a little snort and a cry.

"She's looking for me. Give her here." Mac reached across the coffee table for her girl. Veronica gave the baby a kiss on the head and then handed her over. Mac sat back with Celia on her lap, whipped a breast out of her nursing shirt and presented it to the infant. Celia latched on hungrily and closed her eyes.

Veronica watched in fascination. "I still can't get over the fact that you now make food." She and Mac laughed together. "And how huge your boobs are."

"I KNOW! I love them. Think they will stay this size if I breastfeed her until she is 10 years old?" Mac teased.

"Oh my god, no. Besides, if you breastfeed that long, won't your boobs fall off?" Veronica teased back.

"Good point." Her friend laughed. "So enough about babies. Tell me what's going on with you. I never get out anymore. I need news from the outside world! How's Pony? What's Logan up to? How are things with the two of you?"

Veronica sighed and leaned back into the couch. "Pony's good. Logan had taken to trying to teach her tricks, like some sort of Hollywood acting dog. It's going great...I think Pony has LOGAN trained nicely. She still hasn't done a trick but has somehow managed to get a bag of treats from him." They both laughed. "Logan's good too. A couple of guys from the Base are making a pilgrimage to Huntington Beach for some surfing competition thing in a few weeks, so he's a little giddy about that."

Mac tried to act nonchalant. "So, is Dick making the trek with him too?"

Her friend looked down at her hands. She weaved them together and placed them tightly in her lap. "Nope. Logan and Dick got into a fist fight about two-months ago. They haven't talked since."

Mac's jaw dropped open. "What? What happened?"

Veronica looked up at her friend. "Logan found out that Dick was involved in Cassidy raping me. When he confronted Dick about it, it turned pretty ugly pretty fast. Logan ended up with bruised rib, and he, in turn, did a number on Dick's face."

Not a surfing accident. Mac thought to herself. Out loud she said something entirely different. "How was Dick involved? I'm confused."

"Dick was the one who brought me into the bedroom that night, after I had passed out. He gave Cassidy a condom and goaded him, telling him that he should have sex with me." Veronica confided.

Mac thought she was going to be sick. She turned her eyes down to look at her beautiful blond baby. "Oh my god." She muttered to no one in particular.

Veronica continued. "Yeah. So, you know, that kind of put a damper on Dick and Logan's friendship."

Mac looked at Veronica. "I'm so sorry I asked. I didn't know about what happened with you and Dick. I thought you just didn't like him because he's a jerk."

Veronica laughed. "Well, he is that too. What he lacks in humanity, he also lacks in personality."

Mac didn't know what to do. A wave of emotion surged in her. This man was the father of her child. This man who was partially responsible for her best friend being raped all those years ago. This man she let touch her, get to know her, come into her home and her life. She took a deep breath and changed the subject.

"Oh god. Mommy brain! I forgot to mention that you were right...Mr. Miller's file...he was making contact with the escorts from a Hotmail account I got through his IP address. It is in the file, along with print outs of the emails."

Veronica smiled again, happy with the change in subject. "Awesome! Nice work Q...and baby C!" She rose from her seat, grabbing the papers. "I should get going back to the office. Thanks for letting me pick up the file and snuggle Mars Investigations tiniest employee."

"Anytime Bond. Send me the details on that other case when you get back to the office." Mac smiled back. Celia had fallen asleep while feeding so Mac quickly covered herself back up and, cradling the infant with one arm, rose to let Veronica out.

At the door, Veronica paused. "Hey, I'm sorry things got a little heavy. You don't need to hear my problems. You have enough on your plate as it is."

Mac shook her head. "That's crazy! No matter what, we always share our problems. We're friends. That's what we do."

Veronica smiled. "Thanks friend. Talk to you soon." And with that, she left Mac alone with only the baby and her thoughts.

Mac sighed and leaned against the door. "Oh Celia. What am I going to do?"

* * *

There was a wonderful smell wafting through the hallway of Veronica apartment block. As she got closer to her door, she realized the aroma was coming from her home. It was almost 7 pm and her stomach flipped with delight.

Veronica burst through the doorway. "You cooked!" She exclaimed.

Logan was bending over behind the counter, leaning into the oven. He stood up with a roasting pan filled with a large chicken, surrounded by vegetables. "I cooked! Bones finally gave me his wife's recipe for that chicken she made us, when we went to their place for dinner." He set the pan on the tile counter and took a long inhale from the steam coming off the bird. "It was pretty easy, so I stopped off and picked up the ingredients on the way home."

Veronica kicked off her boots and wandered over to her boyfriend. She looked down at the bird and up at him. She stood on her tip toes and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "You are so cute when you are domestic.

He reciprocated and gave his girlfriend a kiss on the forehead. "Well, in six-month, I'm going to be home every day, all the time. Expect a lot if chickens in your future."

Veronica leaned her head against Logan's arm. His decision not to reenlist was exciting and terrifying for both of them. What would he do now? Would Veronica go insane having him around all the time? Would her work drive him crazy, now that he had time to focus on where she was and what she was doing? As always, she decided to approach her feelings with humor. "You can be my house husband. Cook my meals. Get my slippers. Do my laundry."

Logan snorted. "House husband, huh." He started transferring the vegetables to a waiting dish using a set of tongs. "Are you proposing to me, Ms. Mars?" He laughed.

Veronica's heart skipped a beat. She realized she called him 'husband'. She gained her composure quickly and slapped him on the behind. "Maybe Echolls. But not before I see if you can cook. Now feed me my chicken!" And with that, she turned and fled to the bedroom to change out of her work clothes and into a pair of jeans and a new shirt.

Logan grinned a goofy grin down at his chicken. He grabbed the big carving knife and started cutting the bird, just as his instructions outlined for him. "Logan Mars. That's a name I could get used to." He said quietly to himself.

* * *

Later that evening, Logan and Veronica were walking Pony down a beautiful stretch of beach, just down from their place. It was a warm night, and they walked contentedly along, talking. Veronica had spent the majority of their walk up until this point telling Logan all the minute details of her visit with Celia that morning. She showed him photos she took of the baby, on her phone, and discussed how awesome Celia was in general.

"...and she makes this hysterical little face when she poos. She scrunched up her nose and closes her eyes and makes duck lips and it's just so freakin' cute." Veronica made her version of the poo-face while they walked.

Logan looked at his girlfriend and started laughing hysterically. The sight of Veronica like this warmed his heart. She loved that baby so much that any and all of her tough exterior just melted away around Celia. He stopped and swept her up in his arms, wrapping her in a big bear hug. Pony, who had been running in and out of the surf, bounded up to them and started running around them in circles, barking excitedly.

Logan kissed the top of Veronica's head. "Celia's a pretty lucky girl to have an Aunty who loves her so much."

Veronica got quiet. Her heart started to ache. The two of them were still for a moment, then sensing something was amiss, Logan looked down. Veronica buried her head in his chest, refusing to look up. "Hey." He said quietly. "Let's go sit on that bench and talk."

Veronica nodded. He moved so his one arm was wrapped around her shoulders as he guided her to the bench. When they sat, Logan maneuvered her so she was tucked beside him, protectively wrapped by one arm. "Talk to me." He whispered.

She sighed. "I never thought I would say this, but I'm sad that I can't have a baby. I mean, I never really saw myself as the parenting type before. But now that I'm getting older...seeing Mac with Celia...and being with you...maybe..." She drifted off, lost in emotion.

"Can I ask you something?" Logan began. Veronica nodded 'yes' into his arm, so he continued. "How do you know that you can't have kids? Were you told by a doctor or did something happen...?"

Veronica looked up at Logan and shifted herself so she was looking at her beau. She began to tell her story. "It all started in university. After I transferred to Stanford, I went off the Pill. After everything that happened at Hearst, sex was kind of the last thing on my list of priorities. I got a diaphragm, just in case, but that was that." She took a deep breath and continued. "Well, flash forward a few years and I start dating Piz. I'm in my final year of law school, he's working, we still have separate places, no big thing. One night, I'm at my place, getting ready for a date, and I start to get the most horrible cramping. Like, I'm about to get the period from hell, cramping. And it keeps getting worse. So I call Piz and cancel our date. When I hung up the phone, I passed out."

Veronica steadied her breath and looks out to the ocean. "The next thing I know, I'm in a hospital bed and Piz is sitting next to me, crying. Turns out I had a miscarriage. An ectopic pregnancy. When I talked to the doctor and gave him my history, he told me the chlamydia had probably damaged my reproductive organs and I would never have kids."

Veronica let's out a little ironic laugh. "I was lucky...Piz had been worried when I cancelled our date and showed up with soup. When I didn't come to the door, he got the Super to open it and they found me lying on the floor."

She let out a big sigh. "So when I got out off the hospital, Piz took me to his place to take care of me while I recuperated. He said it didn't matter about kids to him. That he cared about me. That we would 'survive' this. But he was so sad. And I was in shock. I had been so busy with school and stuff that I didn't even notice I hadn't had my period in three months. I had no clue. Somehow, in my shock, a week turned into two weeks, then a month, and suddenly we were living together. I went back on the Pill and that was the end of that."

She felt Logan's hand on her back and turned to him. "I would never say this to anyone but you, but you know what, as time passed, I was actually relieved. How terrible am I?"

Logan shook his head. "You're not terrible."

Veronica scoffed. "I was almost done school and was applying for jobs and studying for the Bar Exam and had so many student loans, and Piz...god...I know he would have wanted me to stay home and cook and clean and raise the kids. But that wasn't me back then. I wasn't ready to be a parent. I was barely holding together the life I had, never mind putting a kid into it."

Logan leaned in and kissed her head. "So what's changed?"

She turned back towards Logan, tears starting to form in her eyes. "You. My work. My dad. My home. Back in New York, I felt like I was playing the role of someone I was supposed to be. Here, back in Neptune these past few years, I feel like me. The real me. Do you know what I mean?"

Logan smiled. "Yeah. I know exactly what you mean."

She smiled back. "I mean, we wouldn't be TERRIBLE parents, would we? Pony is turning out pretty good, don't you think?"

They both shifted their focus to the tired, sandy dog who now lay at their feet. She wagged her tail at the mention of her name, but didn't move.

"As the leading authority on bad parenting, I can honestly say that we really couldn't be THAT bad at parenting." He retorted.

Veronica shook her head. "Between your family and my mom, we really have built quite an impressive list of 'What not to do if you are a parent', haven't we?"

Logan scoffed. "Don't beat them."

Veronica continued. "Don't leave them."

Logan smiled wickedly. "Don't sleep with their underage girlfriend."

Veronica added. "Don't carry on an affair with your old high school boyfriend while married to someone else."

"I AM your old high school boyfriend, so it's all good." Logan shot back and wrapped his arms around Veronica.

"Oh, nothing like reliving childhood trauma for shits and giggles." She said, and snuggled into Logan's arms.

They sat silently for a moment before Logan spoke again. "I would love to be the father of your child."

Veronica looked up at Logan and put her hand on his cheek. "And I would love for you to be the father to my child, but I can't. So that's that."

Logan brushed the palm of his hand over her hair. "But what it you could? Would you try? Could we try?"

Veronica pulled back a bit so she could see his face. Logan's eyes were dark and serious. "I've been looking online. Doing some research. I even called one – The Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine. They said that just because you had Chlamydia... it doesn't mean that we could never have kids; it just makes it harder. The doctor I spoke to was a fertility specialist, so maybe he knows more about this than the doctor who treated you in New York did." He reached out and took her hand. "I'm glad you told me about what happened with your miscarriage. But what I took away from it was that you actually were able to get pregnant on your own, without any help from a doctor. Maybe, with a doctor's help, you could do it again...but with a happier outcome."

Veronica was silent. "Wow." She said. "You have been thinking about this."

Logan ran his hand nervously through his hair. "Yeah. Maybe it's the jackass teenager in me; when you tell me I can't do something I just want to do it more. Or maybe because the idea of having a mini-Veronica chasing Pony around the house makes me smile."

Veronica leaned over and kissed him, a deep meaningful kiss. She pulled back and sighed. "A special clinic, huh. Sounds expensive."

Logan grinned. "Good thing I'm secretly rich. And you're still good looking."

Veronica was about to speak when her stomach gurgled. They both laughed. "Can we table the rest of this discussion until we have a carton of ice cream in front of us?"

Logan laughed and stood up, offering his hand to his lovely girlfriend. She took it and pulled herself up so she was flat against his body. "It's a good thing I AM rich. It will take half my fortune to feed a pregnant Veronica Mars."

Veronica swatted him playfully on the arm. "Hey! Keep talking like that and I won't let you practice baby making with me tonight!" She snarked.

He reached down and took her hand. "You know what they say: practice makes perfect."

And with that, they headed back down the beach towards home, as the sun set behind them.

* * *

Dick tapped his foot anxiously outside Mac's condo door. Her text had read 'Come over tonight. We need to talk.' His guts told him it couldn't be good. For the past two months, every Monday night, they got together to share some time with Celia. But this was a Thursday. No good could come from getting a text like that on a Thursday. Since he got the text that afternoon, he tried and he tried to think back and see if there was something that he said or did over those two months that would give Mac cause to be mad at him. He came up with nothing.

"Guess I get to find out how I screwed up." He murmured to himself as he knocked on the door.

Mac opened it almost immediately, as if she had been waiting all day. "Dick! Come in. Have a seat."

"Oooohhhhkaaayyyy." He said and eased himself into a chair. He looked around the room. Celia was nestled in her baby swing, fast asleep. For a minute, there was nothing but the sound of the swing mechanically creaking.

Mac flopped down on the couch across from him and leaned over the coffee table slightly, positioning her self defensively. "I want to know the truth tonight Dick. All of it."

Dick was confused. "The truth about what? You obviously aren't going to beat around the bush, so just tell me what I did and I can explain."

Mac took a deep breath and exhaled. "How did you really get those bruises on your face? Was it really a surfing accident?"

Dick froze. His instinct was to flee. He looked from Mac to Celia. His heart got caught in his throat. "Please." He whispered. "Please don't."

"Don't what, Dick. What don't you want me to know." She accused, ice trickling into her voice.

"Please don't take my daughter away from me. I'll tell you everything. Just don't take her away." His voice was cracking with desperation.

Mac eased back into the couch cushions. "Why did you get into a fight with Logan?" She continued.

Dick took a deep breath. "Because. Because I'm the one who served up Veronica to Beaver. I'm the one who told him to rape her. But I never in a million years thought that he could or would."

Mac hid her face in her hands. These past few months had given her a false sense that something may have changed in this man, the father of her child. But deep down, maybe he was just, in his core, too damaged to change.

"Why?" Mac looked up and gasped, trying to hold it together. "Why would you do something like that to someone?"

"I don't know." He whispered. "I thought it would be just another way to torment my brother. I didn't really think about Ronnie at all. She was just a...thing...to torture him with. The fact that Logan used to bug her just made her an easy target."

Tears sprang into Mac's eyes. "Was I an easy target too? That night we ran into each other at the bar. Did you see me and think 'gee, that Mac sure looks lonely...maybe I can get her to fuck me?'"

Dick sprang from his chair, unable to contain himself any longer. "NO! It wasn't like that. I was the one who was lonely. I thought it would be cool to actually talk to you, I mean, we've kind of known each other, like, forever. I never dreamed that what happened that night would have happened." He was now pacing back and forth, trying to keep himself from completely breaking down.

Mac was full out crying, big ugly tears. She stood and quietly said the words. "Please leave. Just please...leave Dick."

Dick blinked back tears. "Can I come back?" He asked hesitantly.

Mac nodded. "Yes. But I don't know when. I just need some time to process everything."

Dick nodded. He slowly made his way to Celia, still sleeping in her swing. He kissed the palm of his hand and ran it over the baby's head, lovingly. "I'll see you later, little Miss." He whispered, and then made his way to the door. Just before opening it, he turned back to make eye contact with Mac. "That night meant more to me than you know. You'll see. I'll prove to you that I have changed." With that, he opened the door and walked out.

Mac was frozen to her spot. She felt lost. With nowhere to turn, she turned to the only constant in her life. She went over to her baby, took Celia out of her swing, and held her close as the baby nuzzled her for comfort.


End file.
